Archives for category: Communication

The latest argument with Mrs D – or, as I like to call it, a robust discussion – reminded me of how important it is in both our personal and business lives to communicate well.  Have you ever been in a group dynamic (dinner party, dialogue for 2, meeting) and noticed how often people interrupt each other?  How often somebody asks a question and the next person chooses not to answer it, and asks their own question or makes a statement pushing their own view or agenda?  Annoying, isn’t it?

I’m no saint, and it’s something I have to work on all the time, but I try to respect the other person and wait til they’ve finished talking, and then either answer their question or further the topic in some way.  It’s about respecting the person and what they have to say, and contributing something that gets you both nearer to where you need to be.  It’s basic marketing isn’t it?  Listen-absorb-consider-contribute.

OK, so sometimes people will ramble, have nothing of worth to say, or love the sound of their own voice, and you need to work with them a little.  But generally speaking (pun intended), it’s a case of ‘I know you’re hearing me, but are you listening?’

Meetings – I must say I tend to loathe them unless they’re well managed, which they often aren’t.  They seem to be an excuse to put off a decision, waste some time, and avoid executing on something.  They can be really counter-productive when not done well.

My first job out of college was a management trainee role, where the company went to proper lengths to train us in the basics.  How to communicate, how to manage your time, how to manage people, how to run meetings.  25 years on, I can still see in my head the old video on ‘Meetings, Bloody Meetings’ from John Cleese‘s training company.

There’s nothing worse than a badly run, badly chaired meeting.  So, with that in mind, here are 7 top of mind thoughts on how to instantly improve your own meetings.

– Have a start time and an end time

– Stick rigidly to both

– Produce an agenda, the shorter the better

– Ideally, allocate times for each item on the agenda to fill the total time available

– Publish this in advance so that people know what prep they need to do

– If you’re managing the meeting, control it, bringing off-topic discussions back on track, and agreeing actions and ownership of those actions.  If you don’t get resolution on an item in the time available, park it and move on.  If it’s not your meeting, and it’s a shambles, send the person this blog post

– If conversations get heated, take 2 short comments on either side of the argument and move on

A good meeting energises people, making them feel confident, informed and part of the team.  A bad meeting does the opposite, simple as that.

Skype is great.  It helps bring families and friends closer together and helps keep communication costs down for businesses.  It’s also pretty damn robust for freeware, in my experience anyway.

A skype call is not a phone call, though.  It’s not like a call with landlines or mobile/cell phones.  It’s a call between computers, when you’re doing other things like chat, working on things, watching something else, composing an email, and so on.

Even though you may have a scheduled call for 11am, the other party might just be finishing up another call, or another piece of work.  And there’s something different about an unexpected call coming through your computer, laptop, or tablet.

Skype calls go so much better when you follow this type of etiquette:

– ‘Hi’

– ‘Hi there’

– ‘Ready for our call?’ or ‘Can I call you real quick?’

– ‘Sure’ or ‘Yep, but give me 2 mins to get my headphones on/put my ear piece in/get a coffee/grab a pit stop’ [followed by] ‘OK, ready, fire away’

– ‘OK, calling you now’

Easy, eh?  A tiny bit of extra effort, but an altogether better experience for both of you.

 

 

 

Swiss linguist Ferdinand de Saussure was a clever bloke.  He distinguished between 2 languages: langue, the language, and parole, the spoken language.  We speak one, and we read and write the other.  They can be quite different.

So it seems a bit odd to me that we write to be read, rather than to be heard, especially in the stripped down, dumbed down, sound-bite-driven world that we inhabit these days.  The blog seems to me to be a classic example of this.   You can certainly get quicker through those posts that are written closer to the language of conversation.

Re-read the sentences from this post.  Could you see yourself saying them, exactly as written?  Some of them maybe, others not?  Odd, isn’t it?   Perish the thought you do a spell check and Word tells you your sentence is not a sentence, but a fragment.  Shocking.  🙂