I was visiting my uncle the other day.  He’s about 143 and frail but his mind is razor sharp and he has locked away about a thousand jokes that he draws from regularly. Here are two of them.

Number 1

Patient: Doctor, give me the bad news then the good news.

Doctor: There’s only bad news and worse news.

Patient: OK, I’ll take the bad news then the worse news.

Doctor: The bad news is you’ve 24 hours to live.  The worse news is I forgot to tell you yesterday…

Number 2

Friend 1: See these yellow pills? I’ve got to take 1 a day for the rest of my life.

Friend 2: That’s not so bad, is it?

Friend 1: They’ve only given me 3…